Closer to Done

I’ve been working on this memoir for 3 years…or 8 years…or maybe 39 years,

depending on how you look at it. My Modern Love essay, Moving on From Make Believe, appeared in NYTimes Sunday Style section a few months before my first son was born. When it came out people asked if I planned to turn it into a memoir. At the time, I didn’t think there was anything more to say. But now I finally know the story I need to tell, and turns out it IS an expansion of the original essay, which explores the intertwining nature of grief and love and heartbreak and hope.

So now, eight years later, I have a second grader, a second son, and a full draft I’m proud of. I worked in publishing so I know firsthand that it takes a mix of talent, hard work, luck and timing to get something published. I told myself throughout the writing process that I would focus on what I could control–creating something that I feel proud to share with the world. I hope people will love it, or find it interesting or inspiring, but I can’t control any of that. So I let go of my expectations for others and focus on my expectations for my own writing. Or, I try to, at least.

I’ve worked hard to craft a memoir that comes as close as possible to the vision I’ve held for what it could be. I still have work to do–a lot of work to do–but it feels good to be just a little bit closer to done.